I wanted you until i had you

I want a divorce today, Ana
I've given you everything. Anything you asked for. In sickness and in health. And you gave me everything I wanted, a flat stomach. That keeps getting flatter. But I keep having these weird lucid moments where I notice my hips are about to Pierce the skin. Where I cry because I can't even get three spoon fulls into a bowl of soup before I can't consume anymore. my stomach has shrank that much. Where  when I bend over I see the curve of my intestines like a sack of organs you pull out of the turkey before cooking your thanksgiving feast. My skin is randomly peeling off like it used to when I was young... I'm scared. My moment of consciousness challenges me "what's the point of being skinny if you're not alive to enjoy it".
I had such a good handle on you Ana, you and I we used to have the best times. I had the perfect body. I was a cheap date. and I had enough in me to survive. But now... Now I don't know how to help myself. I feel myself slowly dying. And I'm horrified. So sometimes its easier to ignore it and sleep off the stomach pains. All of the time its easier to lie to myself and pretend nothing's wrong.
I'm sorry. To myself. For ever thinking I wasn't beautiful. For ever wanting to change myself so much I'm nearly killing myself. I deserved better than that... So I'm sorry. But I'm so far gone at this point I just don't know if I can make it up to you.
So please ana, just go. Its been an amazing 14 years. And I want to forget every single one.