So. Still late on that period of mine. Ive been in panic mode for about 2 weeks. Now im just flat out losing it. I snap at everyone. cry over everything. a girl in size 9 looked skinnier than me today...
Im actually the size in the middle to most people. but i feel like i look like the girl to the right. and want to be the girl to the left. Maybe its because my torso is so small? either way, its killing me.
I just want to be skinny. i feel sick, i pee every hour to an hour and a half (but that may be because in order to . avoid food consumption i stick to liquids i.e. water, coffee, energy drinks) Ive taken ...8 tests now? Its impossible to get a false negative 8 times right? right? right?! I hope so. I cannot take much more of this. I am also taking walks, every single night for 2-3 hours then come home and sit in a hot bath to sweat some more fat off. and some how i am at 132.2 empty weight? either there is a poor starving child miraculously growing inside me, im bloated as fuck (by 4 lbs) or this water weight is taking some serious toll.
I have been researching free clinics to get tested by, if there is no menstration by saturday im going.
I want to be comfortable. Cozy. Skin and bones.
On another note, today my food intake was the worst ever. I became a pig for the day (again, with the stress eating)
Food/calories
Breakfast:
2 eggs / 140
2 slices bacon/ 80
1 banana / 105
2 tablespoons peanut butter / 190
Lunch :
2 eggrolls (spring) / 640
Dinner:
quesadilla (cheese) / 490
TOTAL: 1645
http://www.healthstatus.com/calculate/cbc says i burned 2756 cal today
but i will assume probably around the 645 area with my walk and sit ups-if not more?
Total affecting calorie intake then? : estimated 1000
Which on a 1200 max calorie intake i did okay.
I need to shoot for under 500cal a day. :/
when you get tested you'll feel so much better :)
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