feast or fast

As I write this I am gourging myself with mongolian grill. Hello binge purge session.

I've been so unhappy. Lately, everything looks bigger. I haven't been eating. And what I have has been cleansed from me moments after why is there still weight. I need skinny. I miss skinny. The next thing ill het is stretch marks.  I'm

Fat.

Now I know, we all say that. We all see skinny as fat, blah blah blah. I see what society sees as fat. Cellulite. Lard. Disgusting. I miss being beautiful. I miss being pretty. I miss being THIN.

I will throw up until I get there. Until my throat bleeds.

It's grousome. It's sick. Disturbing. But its the honest to god truth.

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