The end,

And so it begins, the end of my world. I am crushed.
Today i was terminated from my job. I know that everyone says its wrongfully, but it truely was in my scenareo. I will not go in to deep details as its irrelivant... My point is i feel so insanely worthless at this moment and so confused. I feel like its either pointless to ever eat again because id rather be dead right now (PLEASE everyone keep in mind i just bought my very first house on january 15th and my mortgage being paid relied on...oh... you know, A PAYCHECK. >:[ ) but, if i dont eat again it takes effort to starve. alot of effort. i have to force myself to not eat, convince myself why its an awesome  idea. Or maybe i should just eat. Im a stress eater, and im stressed. i want to eat the entire world right now, im so angry.

I took a break, and i painted. May all your weeds be wildflowers, right? so long story short after some vigorous painting and some long discussions discretely with some management positions at my previous employer it has come out that i was wrongfully terminated in such a manner than i have a very easily won case with an attorney who will agree to a contingency (meaning i do not pay them unless the case is won, in which manner the party at fault usually pays) so i will be speaking to the human resources department tomorrow morning as well as the department of labor and a few attorneys to ensure that i have a solid case. I will also be sewing them for personal damages (stress levels, anxiety, etc...)

In the mean time i totally fell apart and ate a grilled cheese, slathered in melty cheese goodness, slathered bread slices in butter, and drowned in calories. it really warded off the stress.. comfort food... is...so....good...
I havent checked my weight all day, but ive already had so many dissapointments that being FAT will not work well with this day, it might just cause a mental breakdown so that i fall onto the carpet writhing in pain and foaming out the mouth, who knows.


So, to all my fellow ana's, may all your weeds be wildflowers. Especially Kim.